Archive for November 25, 2007

Microsoft needs a new ECO

Posted: November 25, 2007 in Funny
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Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for microsoft Europe.

Exactly 5,000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is MARIO DIMACULANGAN.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2,000 people leave he room.

MARIO says to himself, ‘I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I’ll give it a try’

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience in managing more than 100 people may leave.

2,000 people leave the room.

Mario says to himself ‘ I never managed anybody but myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay.

What can happen to me?’ So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

500 people leave the room.

Mario says to himself, ‘I left high school at 15 but what have I got to lose?’

So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave.

498 people leave the room.

Mario says to himself, ‘ I do not speak one word of Serbo – Croat but what do I have to lose?’

So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said ‘Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo – Croat, so I’d now like to hear you have a

conversation together in that language.’

Calmly, Mario turns to the other candidate and says `Ano ba yan, dong?’

The other candidate answers ‘Ewan ko, pare.’

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Truth behind why do men lie…

Posted: November 25, 2007 in Funny
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Jojo is a Carpenter, one day while doing a house near a river, his hammer fell in the ranging water of the river. He can’t do nothing but cry. Then his guardian angel appeared before him. “I’m going to help you my dear Jojo” and his guardian angel jumped in the river to retrieve his hammer. After a few seconds, the angel emerges from the water with a gold hammer in his hand. “Is this your hammer?” said the angel. “No” he replied. The angel jumps again to the water and emerges now holding a silver hammer. “Is this your hammer?” “Nope” he insisted. The angel jumps again to the water and emerges with a ordinary hammer. “Is this your hammer?” “Yes! That is my beloved hammer. Thank you very much.” His guardian was so happy that he gave him a gift. “Because of your honesty, aside from your hammer, I will give you also the gold and silver hammer…”

 

Days have passed. One day, Jojo, with his wife, was crossing a very tight bridge over the same river. Unfortunately, and because of stupidity, Jojo’s wife fell in the river. Jojo cried because he can’t do anything about it. Once again his guardian angel came to the rescue. “I will help you.” Then the angel jump in the freezing water. A couple of seconds the angel emerges with Diana Zubiri. “Is this your wife?” “Yes” he replied. His angel got angry. “You are a liar! I thought you are very honest and have a good heart.” Then Jojo reasoned out. “Sorry my angel, its not my intention to lie to you, if I said “NO” you will jump again in the water and will bring Katrina Halili with you and if I said again “NO” you will jump again in the water and bring my wife with you. And because of my honesty will also give Diana and Katrina, aside from my wife, to me. I’m just a poor carpenter, I can’t even buy a decent hammer, and I cannot support three wives that’s why I said “YES” in the instance you ask me.

 

Moral of the story: Men only lie for a good and noble reason.